I went alone to the breast doctor. I really didn't have any idea what I was doing. (If anyone ever has to go to a doctor's visit like this, bring someone!) I brought my mammogram results with me. The doctor had me wait two hours. Yes, two hours. By the time I saw her I was furious, and all she said was she had to tell someone before me they had cancer. That was sad, yes, but it didn't explain why I had to wait two hours.
She looked at my results and said she saw some calcifications, but she didn't explain what that meant. Then she said she needed to do a biopsy before she could tell anything definitively. There was something suspicious on my left breast, too, so I asked if she could biopsy that also. She told me to schedule the biopsy on the way out. Keep in mind I had no idea what was going on, and I had no idea what a proper time frame was. I was told that the first available date was five weeks away. Yes, I said that right. Five weeks. How was I supposed to wait five weeks with this hanging over me? In my head, it obviously meant they didn't think anything was wrong, or else it would have been scheduled earlier. Right??? I had no idea that cancer patients usually had a much shorter time frame, usually two weeks start to finish. It went like this: find something suspicious, biopsy it, have surgery. Boom. Done. I was at the one week mark already. I didn't know any of that, though. All I knew was I didn't like this doctor and I didn't think they respected me or my time. However, I didn't know what to do. I thought I was stuck. So I went ahead and scheduled it.
I remember thinking to myself, just hold on. You can do this. You are strong enough. I started praying and praying for God to give me strength to get through this. I thought I had swirling before. Now I couldn't even hear myself think. There was a humming noise in my head. I was far from my center now, and just trying to hold on.
